Author: lifewithcuties@gmail.com

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My husband’s pulmonary embolism

We were getting ready for church. I was in the kitchen and Caleb was helping our daughter get her dress on. I heard him cough twice that morning which was the only indication of what was about to happen. I heard a thud in the living room and Tavon’s voice saying “are you okay Daddy?” I went to see what happened, Caleb was on his back on the ground. I asked him if he was ok, thinking maybe he tripped.

     Right away I knew something was pretty wrong. He was having difficulty speaking, breathing heavily and wasn’t getting up.The thought that maybe it was nauseousness and might pass only lasted half a second, as I realized it wasn’t some fleeting thing. I panicked and quickly looked around for my phone which was on the counter. I am grateful to Heavenly Father that I was able to find it in a timely manner and that it was charged. I dialed 9-1-1.

     After what felt like ages of answering questions, the lady told me an ambulance was dispatched and to make sure Caleb knew help was coming. His skin had turned clammy within a few minutes of falling to the floor and his face was getting more and more purple. Our sweet kids were witnesses of everything happening in these critical moments. I held Caleb’s hand, letting him know an ambulance was coming and attempted to call Caleb’s mother to let her know what was happening and ask her to be with the kids.  I knew I wanted to go with him in the ambulance and that I couldn’t do that with the kids. She didn’t answer so I left a quick message as the firemen and paramedics arrived with more question.

     Caleb’s oxygen was drastically low but they couldn’t seem to figure out what was wrong. The only information I could give on any health conditions was that his blood had tested pre-insulin resistant 10 years ago before I even knew him. They gave him an oxygen mask and had him climb onto something they could take him down our stairs in to get out the door. Any effort or movement on his part was excruciatingly difficult. Later he told me he doesn’t know how he stayed conscious, but we are so grateful he did so he was able to make his own body breathe as deeply and quickly as it could instead of me attempting CPR to keep oxygen circulating.

    People on their way to church noticed the ambulance outside our home and stopped to see what they could do. One of my friends from church was an angel to me in that moment and offered to stay with my kids until his mother got there so I could go with Caleb. My mother-in-law called me back quickly and said she was on her way to be with the kids. I am so grateful that she checked her phone at this moment when she was probably at church and easily could have had it turned off. They needed to be with someone they knew well.

    The paramedics told me I couldn’t go in the ambulance with Caleb but I could follow them in our vehicle and wait in the emergency waiting area until he had been transferred to a room. I held his hand and told him I loved him as they pushed him to the ambulance. The drive to the hospital was agony as I wondered what was going on with his body. I kept thinking he had a heart attack but the way the paramedics were acting was more like they thought he had diabetes even though his blood sugar tested normal. Images of him losing consciousness in the ambulance and going to the next life without me there by his side haunted me.

    Once I reached the emergency waiting room, it didn’t get any better. It seemed forever until they let me back into his room. Apparently they ran him straight to get an X-ray and a CT scan.

    When I got to go back, I was grateful he was still alive. They left an oxygen mask on him but his oxygen level was still very low. His heart rate was very high, around 100 beats per minute just laying there. He wasn’t purple anymore but he was still cold and clammy with a high temperature. It took a lot out of him to speak. He felt cold and I asked the nurse twice for more blankets for him.    

    The doctor came in and informed us that Caleb had blood clots in his lungs and it would be a couple weeks until he was able to function well again. We were glad to know what was wrong, and eager to learn about the blood thinning medication and what kind of strain his heart had been put under during the time his body hadn’t had enough oxygen. I was texting a lot of people trying to keep everyone updated as we found out any new news.

    Nurses came and pushed Caleb to a new room in the Intensive Care Unit. They didn’t let me come for that transition either which was very frustrating to me-I hated not being there with him for one second. At this point his mom had arrived. She arranged for the kids to be taken care of by our friends who had children their ages to play with.

    Once they allowed me in his new room he was like a changed person, sitting up and alert and back to his normal self. He had a breathing aid (CPAP machine, which stands for continuous positive airway pressure) strapped to his face and head. A pulmonary specialist came and gave us much more detail on what was going on. He informed us that Caleb had a pulmonary embolism, which was when blood clots block the flow of blood to the lungs. According to the scans, Caleb’s right lung had been totally blocked off from blood flow as well as part of his left lung. There are 3 classifications of pulmonary embolism and the only specific Caleb hadn’t qualified for to get him to the most severe kind, a massive embolism classification, is because he didn’t lose consciousness. The cause of the clots was unknown since he hadn’t been sitting around, been on a long trip, had a major blow to the legs, or flown on a plane recently. They labeled it as “unprovoked pulmonary embolism.” This is the scariest kind because not knowing why it happened means it’s likely to happen again and could be a genetic fault in his blood.

    While the specialist was speaking to us we realized that Caleb’s condition was far worse than what the ER doctor had told us. The fact that he needed so much help to be able to breathe in enough oxygen indicated that he wasn’t in the clear yet. The doctor kept using phrases like “if you survive” which was a shock to me, realizing that Caleb was still at risk of having a massive heart attack from the stress the back flow of blood was having on his heart. Scans showed that his heart was in fact now enlarged on the right side and that drastic improvement would need to happen to prevent heart damage.

    Our option for medical intervention was a procedure where they go up through an artery in the inner thigh to place a drip line right next to the clots that had formed. It would drip clot dissolving medicaion into the area. The oral medication he started would prevent further clots from forming, but didn’t have the ability to break up current clots. The risk of this procedure was considered low because of Caleb’s young age. The main concern was that if his body had formed helpful natural clots in his life, for example in his brain after any head injury to keep a brain bleed from happening, those good clots could also get dissolved. This meant he could possibly have a stroke if there was any bleeding in the brain. It also meant that because of the risk the drip line could only safely be left in for 6-18 hours.

    The doctor felt strongly that Caleb should get the procedure as soon as possible to relieve the stress on his heart. We both agreed, and I once again found myself away from my husband, this time for a couple hours. I was grateful to my brother who had come and was waiting with me. If you can imagine, I was was dealing with the fact that I could still lose my husband who I love more than anyone, and who is the father of our four little children. Caleb’s mother had been amazing to have for a short while and went back to be with the kids. I feel so blessed that we were living around family at this time in our life.

    The procedure went well and I was in the room when Caleb got pushed back in. The plan was to check the levels in his chest in 6 hours(in the morning) to see how big the improvement was. I was hopeful that it would be a large improvement and they could take out the drip line.

    Caleb’s sister immediately left her home in Arizona to be there for us when she heard about Caleb. She was an amazing help. With Caleb’s mom and sister at our home I was able to focus on Caleb and not go crazy with stress over the kids.

    Morning came and we waited for the doctor to get there to check Caleb’s levels. Neither side of his chest had improved. What?! How could that be possible? I was breaking down inside with worry, knowing that Caleb’s body only had another 12 hours of the drip line medication to aid it in getting rid of the blood clots. After 12 more hours they had to take it out. I also knew that if Caleb didn’t have any improvement, they would take out the drip line anyway and he would likely suffer a heart attack from the stress on his heart.

    I had been praying over and over for heaven’s help in improving my husband’s condition. I knew that the close group of family and friends who knew what was going on had been praying too. I’m not the kind of person to post on Facebook about personal private matters going on in our lives but at this moment I knew that Caleb needed more prayers. I simply posted that I believe in the power of prayer and gave a quick summary of what was happening with Caleb. He desperately needed prayers, and the response to that post was astonishingly huge with support from old friends, extended family, and colleagues, pleading on Caleb’s behalf as individuals and with their families in prayer. I will never forget what they did for Caleb and our family. If anyone reading this is someone who prayed for Caleb and our family…thank you so much! I don’t know how to express my gratitude for your help and good heart!

    The doctor came in a second time to check for any improvement. Relief set in as he told us there was a 50% improvement on both sides. They removed the line from his leg. He had been instructed to keep his leg straight the last 12 hours, the one that had the line in it so as not to disrupt the flow of medication in any way. It was difficult for him to keep his leg still for so long and he was eager to be able to move around off of his back.

    Caleb was able to be taken off the CPAP machine and had oxygen through a cannula in his nose, at a pretty high flow. His heart rate dropped closer to a more normal 75 beats per minute but his temperature was swinging back and forth between 99 and 101.3. They told us temperature swings are normal with blood clots. A technician came in and did an ultrasound on his legs to try to find more clots. If he had more clots it was likely they would put a filter in to block them from moving up. No clots were found so the doctor wasn’t sure where the clots in his lungs formed.

    At this point he was relying so heavily on oxygen that is was difficult for him to eat and breathe at the same time. Every little thing wore him out but the next morning he tried walking, assisted on both sides and with oxygen. He was also given a breathing exercise tool to help him inhale his lungs to their full capacity. It made him cough a lot, every time he did it, but he showed his determination to show improvement. The point of the tool and breathing exercise was to keep his lungs flexible instead of stiffening up and scarring that way as they healed. I am grateful to his wonderful nurse who helped us understand the importance of what he needed to do and for showing a little tough love and belief that he could do it.

    We were in the intensive care unit for three days. During this time he was able to turn his oxygen from a 7 flow to a 4.5 flow as long as he was laying and not doing anything. They moved us to the hospital floor for one night, being visited by physical therapy to help Caleb get up and walk a few times a day. I was still assisting him to the bathroom along with his walker and oxygen line and being a fall risk. I had been feeding him his meals for the past few days because of the exhaustion for him to lift his arm to feed himself.

    The doctor told us Thursday would be the earliest we might go home so you can imagine our surprise when he started discharging Caleb on Wednesday afternoon. I had a sneaking suspicion it was because all of the beds were full in the hospital according to the nurses and other staff. I wasn’t too happy about Caleb being sent home…he could only go a short distance with his walker and oxygen cranked up, and our home was a split level entry which meant 9 stairs he had to conquer to get into our home. I explained all this to the doctor who sort of brushed it off.

We got him home and he did make it up the stairs to nap on the couch. Norco came and set up an oxygen machine with travel canisters for us to use when we went in the car anywhere. Caleb was considered in the “high risk” phase which is the month after a pulmonary embolism. After 2 days there was no improvement in his ability to walk or breathe. His oxygen was at flow of 4 when at rest which is considered just under hospitalization needs. Our amazing home teacher gave Caleb an oximeter for his finger that he used constantly to be in the know of how much his body was lacking oxygen when he did certain things. This was a great tool to be able to track improvement over the next months.

This was a very stressful time. Caleb’s mom and sister were now gone. I was trying to keep the kids out of our room as much as possible because they were getting over a cold and if Caleb caught anything it would be an ER trip for sure and could be life or death for him. Caleb wasn’t up to leaving the house for any reason other than doctor visits that had to be done. I still had appointments and things like kindergarten registration,etc with our kids I had to go out and do. Caleb wasn’t supposed to be left alone and he was unable to go with us. This meant finding someone to come and just sit in our home with him in case of an emergency. I was donating plasma to help with income and had a major thing happen because of that.

Caleb showed some improvement after a week but day nine we had to rush back to the ER due to some hot pressure he felt moving from his arm into his chest. Scans and blood work came back looking good so we got to go home at midnight. The next day he was able to move his oxygen flow from 4 to 3 and started moving short distances around our room without me. Day 11 he was able to turn it down to a 2!

I set up a baby monitor so I could hear him if he needed me when I was doing things around the house, garage, or outside with the kids. I was cooking his food according to the Mediterranean diet and he was starting to lose weight, which the doctor said would make it easier on his heart and lungs. His liver enzymes tripled on the blood thinner they originally put him on so it was switched to eliquis and that improved.

Three weeks after his PE we went to church and he did well enough that he wanted to stay for the whole 3 hours. His oxygen flow needs were between a 1.75 and 2.5. He was able to be off of oxygen for 10-15 min at rest once in a while and he walked around the block (with oxygen of course) for the first time with the kids. He was also able to help with their homework and folding laundry! He pushed himself a lot of the time but if he overdid it too much he would have to take a long nap to recover and turn up his oxygen higher than he usually did. We purchased a medical guardian for him so he knew he could get help if he was ever alone or it was just him and the kids, and I had peace of mind when he was at work or wherever. He was never left alone the first month following his PE. He was working a few hours a day from home.

Fast forward 3 months and Caleb was off of oxygen except at night and after exertion. Caleb kept an emergency canister of oxygen in his car just in case.

Eventually he was able to wean off of the oxygen at night and hadn’t needed it for over a month when all of a the sudden he started struggling again. He started needing to use his oxygen canister in his truck a lot, and was declining. We thought maybe he was sick too but after 2 weeks of decline I picked him up from work and took him to the ER. We suspected more clots but to our surprise the CT scan showed not only no blood clots but no scar tissue from the pulmonary embolism left behind either. This led us to appointments with a pulmonologist, cardiologist, and hematologist to try to figure out what was going on so we could resolve it. Tests came back showing his heart still slightly enlarged on the right side but the cardiologist didn’t seem to think it would be causing his problems. The pulmonologist set him up for asthma testing but the initial test came back negative. She set him up with a medication which was a combination that included a steroid to try to enlarge the vessele, calm down the cells in his lungs and keep down inflammation. He also had a sleep test to see if he was breathing okay at night.

The second test for asthma and other conditions came back pretty promising that he did indeed have asthma. His primary doctor prescribed him an emergency inhaler and between the steroid combo in the morning and his emergency inhaler, it was like magic and his breathing struggles almost disappeared. The hematologist told him the risks of going off the blood thinner were greater than staying on it for life, especially since his PE was classified “unprovoked”.

After he returned to work he had time to exercise and lost 45 pounds in 3 months because of his amazing self control, dedication to the habit of working out, and his amazing health coach (Me haha!) who measured and prepped all of his meals according to personal training weight loss challenge standards. I’ve never seen anybody show as much self control as he did for 12 long weeks!

It has been just over a year since his pulmonary embolism, which prompted me to write this post. We feel so blessed that his pulmonary embolism occurred at home where I was there and able to call for help. He worked all the time, so the likelihood of it happening in his truck or at work with no one around was substantially higher than happening at home. I know Heavenly Father has a plan for us and that all of this didn’t happen for nothing. It has taken a huge toll on each member of our family individually, but I know it has been for a reason. I hope this post can help someone else whose loved one has had a life threatening PE, help them know what our story is and maybe feel empowered in some small way in knowing what could possibly be coming next and that they’re not alone in their experience and fears. There really isn’t too much out there on Pulmonary Embolism stories because 80% of them result in almost immediate death. Caleb has been affected long term by the PE and will be on blood thinners and the inhalers for the rest of his life, but he is still with me. He is still here with me and our kids. We have been through so much in the last year since it happened and I’ve been able to see what an amazing Dad he really is because of him having a job with regular hours. We have a more balanced life being able to be around family and take care of ourselves. 

Wishing you a blessed day!

Your Friend Jexi

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Why Do Freezer Meals?

Making freezer meals is one tactic I use to stretch our food budget and save me time…but not in the way you might think. Let me share with you the way I use freezer meals and why it works better for me!

When you think of making freezer meals you probably think of getting some recipes together that look good, taking a shopping list to the store to buy all of the ingredients, and then prepping and freezing multiple family dinners at home in a few hours. This is kind of backwards to how I do it. I like it more simple and natural. I already make meals I know our family will eat, and it is really hard for me to set out 3 hours of time just to “meal prep”which can turn into 6 hours with my kids around and possibly food going bad on the counter with me trying to get it all done at once.

SO, the way I use freezer meals is quite simple. When I am making a dinner I try to make 3-4 times the amount I normally would. This way I have 2-3 extra heatable, healthy meals I can stick in gallon bags in my freezer. This only works if I have enough of the ingredients, right? I am always looking at the store for good deals on the foods we already buy so I can do this once in a while. I look at the ads and I know which store usually has the cheapest prices on the staples we buy. For example, I go to Costco for the best price on lean ground turkey. If I spot it for cheaper at Smith’s one day on clearance, though, I will swipe it up because I know it’s potential for a healthy frugal meal is limitless in sloppy joes, chilli, tacos, and I can even make my own “turkey burgers” with it.

There’s no point in buying food that’s an awesome deal just to have it go bad, right? That’s like throwing money away because you’ll end up throwing the food away. Sometimes I buy a lot of something that’s an awesome deal, thinking we will be able to eat it in time (like bell peppers) but it isn’t getting used up like I thought. When this happens, I prep the food into a more usable form and freeze it. For example I would chop or slice up the bell peppers and freeze them in quart bags so I can just throw them into an omelet, use them in my sloppy joes, or toss them in with the fajita meat. It saves the food from going bad AND makes an easier meal for me when I do use it. Foods like cottage cheese can be frozen if it’s going bad but the texture changes once frozen so you can only really use it in recipes where it gets cooked like making crockpot lasagna or pan manicotti later. However, it’s easier to use if it’s measured out before frozen so you don’t have to thaw a whole bag. If my crockpot sloppy joe recipe calls for 1.5 cups of cottage cheese, I’ll freeze it in 1.5 cup increments.

My goal with a family of 6 and a food budget set in stone is to stretch my money and save time as much as possible while keeping healthy food a priority. Freezer meals are time-savers as you get the ingredients out once, chop anything you need to at one time, and only do dishes once. By saving time they save you money, because we ALL realize too late that we haven’t planned dinner and we reach for expensive fast food or unhealthy processed stuff like macaroni and cheese. Dinners made from scratch are always cheaper and healthier. Another benefit is that if you want to help someone who had surgery, etc. you are empowered to be able to do it without too much sacrifice or extra funds.

You of course can do meals in aluminum pans or disposable containers, etc. but I’ve found that freezer gallon bags work the best for us. They are cheaper than aluminum pans, can be formed into shapes that fit in your freezer, and can be cut off if needed to put a meal in the crockpot or into a glass pan to bake, etc. You also can’t microwave an aluminum pan if for some reason you wanted to!

Freezer meals are best used within 6 months so keep track of what’s in your freezer! I usually dig around and see what I have in mine every month so I can compile a list of meals we need to eat first. The more airtight a container is the better to prevent freezer burn.

If you decide to make a bunch of freezer meals of a new recipe, I recommend making only one or two meals of it first so you can see the feedback your cuties and husband have to the meal before you buy a ton of ingredients and get stuck with eating it over and over! Also, make sure you have enough freezer space for all of the meals you will be making.

The recipes that tend to freeze the best for me are:

Chilli

Sloppy Joe Meat(see recipe below)

Spaghetti/lasagna sauce

Sour cream enchiladas

Fajitas or taco meat

Creamy chicken over rice (rice actually freezes decently well if you want to prep ahead of time but I would use it within 3 months)

Soups and stews (my favorite is curry!)

One hangup I have is remembering to thaw the night before. 4-6 hours is the normally recommended time for a thawed freezer meal. If you forget to thaw NO BIGGIE. Just put it in for 6-8 hours and make sure you can stir it at least once during the day. if it’s a frozen casserole and you forget to thaw the night before, the tip I usually follow is to add 50% more baking time (example 1.5-2 hours if thawed time is 1 hour) and lower the normal temp 25 degrees to avoid burning the edges.

One awesome idea I love is putting smoothie ingredients into freezer bags for quick, healthy breakfasts. I have never tried this but plan to VERY soon since my husband’s weight loss competition and I will do a post on how it goes. Here are a few of my most used freezer meals. I hope this post has gotten ideas flowing for you and been helpful in some way. Make it a great day, friend!

Jexi

 

Creamy chicken over rice

-3 lbs raw chicken breast

-1 pkg cream cheese (neufchatel is an excellent healthier substitute found right next to the cream cheese, looks and tastes exactly the same)

-3 chicken bouillon cubes

-1 can cream of chicken soup

-4 Tbs melted butter (or flavorless coconut oil)

Put all ingredients in freezer bag. When ready to use, dump in crockpot and cook on low for 8 hours. Serve over cooked brown rice. Delicious!

 

Sour cream enchiladas

-3 cups shredded chicken (you can cook and shred yourself or use canned)

-3 cups Monterey Jack OR pepper jack cheese, shredded (if you don’t have these you can do mozzarella cheese as long as you do have the green chillies on hand)

-8 flour tortillas, taco size (100% whole wheat for a healthy version)

-3 Tbs butter, melted (can substitute with flavorless coconut oil)

-4 oz can green chilies (optional if using pepper jack cheese since it already has chillies in it)

-2 cups sour cream (AWESOME healthy substitute is Fage plain yogurt, 2% fat)

Mix chicken and cheese, spoon into tortillas and roll shut. Place in pan or freezer bag. Mix melted butter, green chilies, sour cream together and pour over top. Thaw overnight, Bake 350 20-30 min.

 

Sloppy joes

-4 lbs ground beef (can substitute up to half with ground turkey which is healthier and usually cheaper. I found the healthiest cheapest version in my town at Costco. The flavor and texture of the sloppy joe is different if you substitute more than half the beef.)

-1 diced bell pepper

-1 med onion

-1 can tomato sauce

-2 cans condensed tomato soup, undiluted

-1 cup packed brown sugar, you could substitute with some honey for healthier version

-¼ c ketsup

-3 T Worcestershire sauce OR bbq sauce

-1 T mustard

1 ½ tsp chili powder

1 tsp garlic powder

Cook beef, diced onions, diced bell pepper in pan and drain. Add remaining ingredients and stir. Put in freezer bags to eat later, or put into crockpot on low for 4 hours to eat today. To cook freezer meal, remove bag and put meat mixture into crockpot, cook low 6-7 hours.

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Potty Training Tips

My second is a girl and potty training was an ugly ordeal, even having experience with my first. I yelled at her more than once when she would have “accidents” that seemed more like purposeful pooping on the floor. She had been going in the potty quite a bit so I felt like she knew how and I wondered why she didn’t just do it all the time. My third is a girl as well, Ali, and it went about the same as my first daughter. I felt like potty training took away the special baby bond I had with them because I had outbursts once in a while in frustration. I didn’t want to wait for them to “potty train themself” because I knew 4 year olds who weren’t potty trained and I didn’t want to have 3 kids in diapers, nor did I want to spend all our money on diapers. The thing I learned with Ali was to use her favorite show as a reward. She was free to watch whatever she wanted but “Sofia the first” was off limits unless she went in the potty. Treats didn’t really matter to her. She was consistent with potty training by day three of switching her reward to her favorite show!!

My fourth child is another boy, Kyler. I delayed potty training him because he was supposedly my last child and I didn’t have to worry about having two in diapers. I was going to see how the “wait until they are ready” thing worked out. I would ask him once in a while if he wanted to try going on the potty. Sometimes he would, sometimes he would say no, but he never did go in the potty. But his third birthday was coming up and he showed all the signs of being ready-especially the one where he brought me his diapers and wipes and asked to be changed. He would also hide to poop and ask to be changed afterwards. Yet when asked if he was ready to poop on the potty like a big boy he said no.

I found out I was surprise pregnant and was hoping to potty train my youngest by the time he turned 3. Our other kids took about 3 months from the start of their potty training to be “fully potty trained (don’t have to wear diapers ‘just in case’ when we go out or when they go to childcare at church). I did a lot of reading on new ideas and almost bought a huge package of pull-ups to get it going. Something kept stopping me from buying them though. I talked to Caleb about how he felt potty training Kyler and when we should start. He agreed that we should start soon but with our family of 6 and being pregnant it always seemed so busy with appointments and school/church stuff, and I wanted a couple days where we were mostly at home. We never really set a specific day to start. I was going to go to Winco to get some jelly beans in bulk so we would have a reward on hand, then we could start. Guys, at this point, Heavenly Father knew exactly what I was thinking-I had TOLD him in my mind multiple times. I hadn’t wanted to think about another baby until certain things in my life were met, and having my youngest potty trained was one of them. But here I was pregnant unexpectedly and my youngest wasn’t potty trained and we had 3 older children to take care of as well.

One day Kyler asked to play in the bath with his cars, and he pooped in the bathtub. He is very honest with me and yelled to me that he pooped in the tub. I took him out and set him on the little potty with a towel around him. I told him to try pooping more into the potty, but there was a lot in the tub and I didnt have any expectation of him doing it- it was more of a place to put him while I got his new clothes and cleaned out the poop from the tub. A couple minutes later he tells me he pooped again and I’m thinking oh sure, but I checked and sure enough he had pooped MORE in the little potty. I gave him praise like crazy and a chocolate chip from the cupboard. I decided to start potty training right then and there. We set the timer and I told him we could watch his favorite show (Robocars) when he pooped or peed in the potty again. He was potty trained almost all of the way within 3 DAYS from that moment. I was ASTONISHED at the blessing and miracle of it all. His third birthday was 10 days away. Very different experience than my first three, and I am grateful beyond words for the love and consideration Heavenly Father showed me through this event that some people might think is “small” but it was HUGE to me.

So by the skin of my teeth I can say that our four children were all potty trained by the time they turned 3 hahaha! And also that I am totally understanding of why someone would wait to potty train their child for longer. The following list of tips are what I wish someone handed me with my first. You are not alone in your potty training with your sweet child! Please feel my encouragement as you attempt to find what works best for you and your child!

  1. Look for the signs of your child being ready. These include hiding to go potty, removing their wet or soiled diaper themselves, and asking to be changed. They should also be dry when they wake up from a nap (try to check immediately upon waking). Their bladder should have developed the capability of going a while without peeing themselves. They don’t have to have ALL of the signs. You can always commit and try it to see how it goes!
  2.  Do NOT use pull ups or diapers unless you go somewhere. This was something very important I learned from my first child. Having to change their outfit or clean their car seat created a lot of frustration for me when I was trying to get to an appointment or run errands. It’s ok for them to wear a diaper/pull up when you go somewhere in the car, but it brings me to tip 3…
  3.  When you go somewhere with your potty trainee, immediately take them to the restroom when you arrive there, whether or not they went before you left. This is very important because it teaches them that there are potties everywhere whenever they need to go, and that you will take time out of the trip to take them potty when needed.
    Have a small potty in the car at all times. We originally bought a travel potty that folded up and had disposable bag inserts…the inserts were too spendy for my liking so I got a small bjorn potty at a yard sale and we keep the insert in the back of our car ALL the time. It has saved me so many times from having to stop and pull all four kids out of the car to make an emergency stop at a store or gas station somewhere. Even our 6 year old has needed to use it before. I realize that some people might think it’s weird to have a child sit in the back of the car and go potty there, but to me it has been a fantastic life saver and we just dump it at home, or if we are on a long trip I just pour it into the weeds off the road (is that too detailed?? This is potty training talk after all haha)
  4. When you are at home (try to spend the first couple days mostly at home), I think it’s effective to have them be naked from the waist down for the first few days. It’s good for them to see what is happening in conjunction with the feeling when they have to go. Wearing a diaper that absorbs it all hides what is going on and they possibly don’t even feel wet. They realize when they have the feeling of going, there is liquid coming out and it gets everywhere if they don’t go on the potty! It also makes it easy for you as the parent to see and catch what is going on and run them to the potty mid-stream if you can! What a great way to get them to pee a little in the potty and be able to reward them! Once they see and feel what is going on for a day or two, we us regular undies with their favorite characters on them. They enjoy picking out which undies to wear.
  5. Don’t use diapers or pull ups in the night either. Be mindful when they wake up in the night! ALL of my cuties woke up in the night more frequently the night after we started potty training. When they get up in the night, take them to the potty! Whether they go or not, teach them it’s ok to go potty in the night, too. We bought a bed pad to put under them when accidents happened at night so we didn’t have to change all the bedding. I think this step is one of the most important…Potty train them 24/7, not just during the day and you won’t have to deal with kids wetting the bed a ton! To avoid getting them too awakened at night, I put dry clothes on them, switch out the bed pad/towel, and then bathe them in the morning.
  6.  Be consistent with timing. Set a timer on your oven or phone, etc. and take them every 30 min. If they DO go on the potty, set the timer for 60 min. after. Whenever they don’t go, set it for another 30 min. When they have an accident, take them to sit on the potty for a couple minutes and restart the timer for 30 min. I made the mistake of taking my first child every 10-20 min and he got so sick of sitting on the potty and would cry.
  7. Practice what to say for different situations so you don’t have to think about it too much. For example, when Kyler had an accident we say “Uh-oh, you peed on your paw patrols undies so we have to stop playing now to change (remember you are also sitting them on the potty after the accident). I can give you a jelly bean if you pee in the potty.” Don’t yell at or blame your child. Remind them if they go in the potty they can have their reward. Try to have a matter-of-fact tone instead of putting pressure on them. Let them know you are sorry they had to stop playing, it’s a real bummer, but when we pee our pants we have to stop having fun to go change. When we pee in the potty we don’t have to change and we get our treat (or show, or whatever it is). Give them praise EVERY time they try to go potty, whether they get anything out or not. You can even give them a sticker if you are having trouble getting them to sit on the potty. You could also sing a song or read them a book. It’s nice for them to know they can be done trying when the song is over or the book is done, instead of an undetermined amount of time.
  8. Teach your child to tell you when they go potty or have to go. I have noticed a big difference once we implement this into potty training. Teaching your child to communicate to you that they peed or are in the middle of peeing or need to pee is BIG. Vocalizing that they have peed in their pants helps them form the habit to TELL YOU. We are training them to tell us when they need to go pee, and the first step to that is to say when they HAVE PEED. I practice with my kids. Whenever they have an accident I say, Let’s practice! Yell out ‘mommy, I have to pee!’ And usually they start out quiet during our practice but we practice it quite a bit. They tend to use the phrase while they are wetting themselves at the beginning, which is still great cuz then I can rush them to the potty to see if they will get anything into it and get a reward.
  9. I let my babies come in with me when I go to the potty. I also went potty on big toilet while they sat on the little one a lot of the time. This lets them see that it’s a normal thing to do, what happens after I go (we flush the potty, say “bye bye, pee pee!”, and clap our hands. Sometimes they even want to get my toilet paper.) I also teach them to tell me good job mommy! This example is a big one. It teaches them that it’s normal to go pee in the potty, that it’s a deed worth celebrating. Many people have recommended to me the baby dolls that can pee, and while I think it’s a fabulous idea to have a controlled example they can see pee on their potty, I tried it with one of my girls and didn’t see any magical effect that did any more than having them see ME go potty.
  10. I tried to remember to pray. Pray before you start, pray for patience in the day to see your baby through heaven’s eyes as they are pooping on your carpet! Pray for ideas for rewards or a different way of approaching things that may create a more successful experience for you and your child. Pray for your child and yourself. Pray for help with anything you need to do to be consistent, because consistency is so important.
    Don’t feel like a failure if it isn’t going how you think it should. Ask for help from your spouse or a family member. All you can do is your best…life happens when you may have to wait and try again later with fresh dedication!

Good luck, mamma!

Your friend, Jexi

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Favorite songs for toddlers

A while ago I promised to post a list of songs I sing with my kids when shopping, at bedtime, or while in the car. I’m sorry it has taken this long! You can look them up on youtube if you haven’t heard the name before. You can make songs more fun by doing different things like singing in an opera voice.

My Bonnie lies over the ocean-We end this song holding out the last word as long and as high as we can go! We also vibrate our lips on the B as we sing the “Bring Back”. The kids also like to change it from Bonnie lies over the ocean to DADDY lies over the ocean or whoever else!

How much is that doggy in the window-My children like to choose different versions of this song by switching the dog for a cat in the window, or “how much is Clover in the window” since they now have a bunny named Clover.

Three little monkies swinging in the trees-This has hand actions, and I like to replace the words with the name of my kids so I would sing “One little Ali, swinging in the trees” and I would be the alligator tickling her when she gets snatched out of the tree!

Goin on a Bear Hunt!-such a fun song with so many different versions on youtube that are so funny!

I’m a Little Teapot-When we tip over at the end we tickle whoever we “tip on to” with our “spout”

I Had a Little Turtle, His Name Was Tiny Tim-We made up our own simple actions to this song.

Little Cabin in the Woods- We sing the regular version of this song and a “creepy” version where we sing it in a scary voice and eat the bunny at the end (because our family is silly ok 😉

Once There Was A Snowman

Popcorn Popping

Raindrops on Roses-I actually don’t know this whole song by heart by we sing what I can remember and do actions to the chorus that starts “When the dog bites…my daughter LOVES it”

The Ants Go Marching-Wow this song can get old, especially if more that one child picks it as their bedtime song! HOWEVER, we invented a shortened version of it that goes “The ants go marching one by two harra! harra! The ants go marching three by four harra! harra!, etc so it turns into a really short song to get to ten! (we punch the air with each harra and my 1 yr old LOVES it haha!)

Theme Songs To TV Shows- My kids are so funny that they want us to sing their favorite TV show song. My 1 yr old LOVES Fireman Sam so we sing that to him all the time and my 2 yr old daughter used to always want us to sing the song from Sophia the First.

I Love To Go To Grandma’s House-I tried looking this song up on youtube after learning it from a dear family friend but I just couldn’t find it so I will be making a video of us singing it to you! it is a very old and very cut song I wish all grandchildren could sing to their grandmothers whenever they go visit!

I am a Child of God- I used to sing this to my oldest when he was 2. He called it “Child of God BOO!” because we did a version where I would yell BOO at random times during the song and he absolutely loved it. I don’t know if that’s appropriate or not, but it sure taught him the song fast and he always asked for it.

Jesus want me for a Sunbeam!

Please share in the comments if you or your cuties have favorite songs you like to sing together so I can look them up or add them to the list! Happy Singing 😀   -Jexi

 

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Is Amazon Prime Membership Worth The Cost?

I love my Amazon Prime Membership because it saves me time and money BUT I know it is not financially practical for everyone! Here are some questions to ask yourself if you are considering one.

Do you live far away from family or have small children? If you do, Prime membership gives you free 2-day shipping, and not just to your address. You can have it shipped wherever for gifts at birthdays, Christmas, mother’s day, etc. so you would save money there. I buy stuff for my family all the time after comparing prices at Walmart, Home Depot, etc. I know it will show up in 2 business days and that I don’t have to go to a handful of stores with my kids to get a few things. This TOTALLY ROCKS when it comes to getting my own kids their gifts. I don’t have to lose out on spending time with my husband so I can go gift shopping while he watches the kiddos. I don’t have to hire a babysitter to go shopping!

Is it difficult to get out and go clothes shopping? People who say yes may be like me with small kids-can you picture me trying on clothes while my toddlers are crawling under the stall door?! Or maybe people say yes to this question because of a health problem. I recently discovered that Amazon has awesome clothing with not only free shipping whey you buy but FREE RETURNS on a lot of sizes and styles. This means if you try it on and it doesn’t fit right, isn’t the color you expected, or you plain just don’t like it, you can ship it back for FREE as long as you just tried it on, it hasn’t been washed, and it still has the tags on. I have loved ordering jewelry, scarves, leggings, boots, dresses, shirts, pants, EVERYTHING-knowing it’s free to me to return and I can try it on at home. To return an Amazon item, go into your orders online, choose the item you want to return, and they will email you a free shipping label. I print out the label and use the same package the item was sent in to return it. If you can drop it off at a UPS store free AWESOME. If you want someone to pick it up at your house they charge 1.00-3.00 for that option.

Do you wish you had access to more educational television? It’s irritating when my kids waste their screen time on entertaining shows that teach nothing or worse, teach that violence or calling names is a normal way to handle situations. Amazon Prime Members get access to Prime shows that our kids LOVE including Fireman Sam (teaches about safety), Daniel Tiger (teaches about how to handle feelings and different situations), Super Why (teaches about letters and reading), and Tumbleleaf and Stinky and Dirty both teach about figuring out ideas and answers. There are also many, many shows for adults. I love this bonus to our family with Prime and I feel like it saves us money on rentals and movie purchases.

Do you love to read new material? This for me personally is one I answer no to, at least on Amazon. Right now I don’t really have time for luxury reading as my day is full of necessary articles I look up on different aspects of raising my kids, nutrition stuff that is interesting to me to research and write about, etc. BUT my mother and sister-in law ABSOLUTELY LOVE this part of Amazon Prime, that gives them access to probably thousands of books on their kindle for FREE.

Do you love listening to music or having pre-selected stations that fit your style? Music is one of my biggest loves in life. I love to dance to it, sing to it, and drive with the radio on. Amazon has put together free playlists, commercial free, for every genre or type of music you could want. I like listening to country and high-beat, dance and exercise music.

The one thing I love most about Amazon is FREE TO EVERYONE, and that is……the reviews! From experience, I never purchase a product if it’s review on Amazon is less than 4-stars. I love reviewing the products I have purchased on Amazon to help others as well.

Would you like to be notified when a product drops in price? This is yet another free-bee to anyone, not just Prime Members. Amazon items are constantly changing prices, and they have a great system where you can “save for later” the items in your cart you think are too expensive at the moment or you just can’t afford yet. I must have a hundred things in my “save for later” cart. Whenever I log in I can go to my cart and click the alert box telling me prices have changed to view.

Do you like AMAZING customer service? Also free! Amazon has a 30-day return policy on most things, and I’ve had to call customer service twice in the last 4 years with stellar people waiting to help meet my needs and make me happy again! For example, one time I purchased a cell phone case for my husband to protect his phone at work (screen kept cracking) but the phone was NOT there in the given amount of time. I called customer service who apologized profusely, refunded my money for the phone case even though it showed it had already shipped, and put a ten dollar CREDIT to my account as well so I could get on and get a different case for free. The first case never did show up and the lady on the phone said that they were taking the seller of the case off of Amazon because of the complaints they had.

So let’s go over the financial decision of getting that Prime Membership. Free two-day shipping to ANY address in the United States, Free Prime Shows, Free Music, Free Prime Books, and free returns for Prime members on thousands of clothing items. Maybe you have family around, time to go clothes shopping by yourself, you use Pandora for free music, and you get books off of ebay or thrift stores. Maybe even if you do live far from family you could bring them gifts when you go visit, cutting the need for shipping  at all! To be honest, Amazon Prime is worth it to me even now that we have moved back into town where family is. I love getting packages at my door so I can try on clothes, and I love purchasing gifts for my kids with it. You decide whether it would save you money and time or if it would be worth it to you!

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Ideas for Happy 4th of July with Toddlers!

I have great memories of July 4th growing up, and I want that for my kids too! BUT some fireworks at parties scream and whistle, and it doesn’t get dark here in the summer before 8:30pm which is when my kids are usually asleep. So…how can we have a kid friendly 4th of July?

The biggest life saver we discovered 3 years ago was earmuffs-the kind they use at the shooting range! You know, those really thick padded earmuffs like these so you don’t lose your hearing? I also put them on my baby one time when my husband and I wanted to go to the movies on a date but I was breastfeeding and couldn’t/didn’t want to leave him. Anyway, we got a pair for each of the kids at Harbor Freight and it was so much more enjoyable for us at the firework party! One tip is to set fireworks off on a flat piece of cardboard over your driveway or grass. We set them off last year directly on the driveway and it made a ton of black marks I couldn’t get off easy!

My husband enjoys doing a BBQ on the 4th as long as he’s not having to work! I always love the smell of a great BBQ! Our kids love hot dogs but never really eat the buns so I rarely buy hot dog buns. You can do a fruit tray and vegetable tray with dip and set out the sprinklers in the back so the kids can run around in the water while you grill up whatever!

Another thing we do for the 4th of July is purchase festive things that can be set off and seen in the day-like the army parachute guy firework-it’s become a favorite tradition our kids enjoy doing during daylight hours. My baby is always scared of sparklers so I make sure to get glow in the dark sticks for that. Colorful smoke balls are super fun in the day as well. Popsicles to end the night make an awesome memorable time for the kids! If there aren’t fireworks allowed you can always settle for a different variety of glow sticks or make cupcakes with candles in them to celebrate the birthday of our country! Kids love blowing those candles out over and over if you are willing to keep lighting them ;D Happy Fourth of July!

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How can YOU make money as a stay at home parent?

Great ideas that bring in a small amount of income for me include:

Buy items at yard sales to sell on craigslist. The best advice I ever read about this one is to buy what you personally know is an awesome deal. For me that means kid stuff (I have no knowledge of antiques, baseball cards, etc.) If I can snag a double stroller at a yard sale for ten bucks, chances are I could sell it from craigslist for double that. BOOM ten bucks income for the time to write a craigslist post and snap a few pictures. I don’t like selling things on ebay because it requires me to drive to the post office with my kiddos to mail it in a timely manner, so it’s not worth it to me. Another thing I have knowledge about is lawn mowers. If I see a good lawn mower at a yard sale that looks like an easy fix I may fix it, and sell it on craigslist. What do YOU know the value of, that you could buy and sell?

Watch other kids in your home! It’s illegal to be a full time caregiver without proper licensing, etc. but babysitting does not require a license. This means you can advertise on craigslist about being a last-minute, back-up, emergency, or random hours babysitter. The law states that you need to be licensed to be the caregiver if you are on a set schedule, but if you are a back-up that is not the case and it’s nice to make some extra money without having to commit to doing it every day all day. If someone sees my craigslist ad and calls, I can say absolutely if I have no time commitments and my kids are healthy. I say I am not available if my kids have sport stuff, doctor appointments, etc.. I really wish someone had told me this option a long time ago!

One possibility is cleaning houses on your own schedule. I haven’t personally tried this yet but it would probably work best in the summer. This is because I can get one of the young women in my community to watch my children for 5-6.00/hr while I go make 10-20/hr doing an awesome organization or cleaning job for somebody else. I will update this with my success or failure!

You can also clean offices at night. This allows my husband to watch the kids instead of a daycare. Cleaning offices has by far been the most income per hour that I have done. I started cleaning my husband’s small place of work on the weekend for a few hours and now clean a little bit larger office three evenings a week. I worked for a cleaning company going every weeknight for three hours a night and it was too much for me to do long term. I was able to stick it out through an entire pregnancy up until one week before my 5th was born. I just thought of him as my little work partner 🙂

Recycle aluminum. I remember doing this growing up and my kids used to pick up cans from our apartment parking lot to recycle before we moved to our house. Unfortunately (or not) for us, we don’t drink soda too often and hardly get any cans to recycle for money to make it worth the drive-but maybe this would be a good idea for your situation! Just google a recycle place near you and see if they pay money for certain items.

Yard/bake sale. I regularly declutter and dejunk my house so all the stuff I decide is not worth the space in our house gets put in the yard sale pile/shelf in our garage. I read a great article a few months ago that talked about making the most out of your yard sale through doing a bake sale at the same time. Growing up I usually made big rice krispy treats and sold out at 50 cents each. Make sure your signs are simple and easy to follow. Some people around here set them up the night before so they don’t have it to worry about in the morning.

What else can you do? Maybe you are an animal lover and can advertise feeding and walking dogs while people are on vacation-I’m sure you’re kids would love to do it with you!

Hey how about starting a blog? I don’t expect that I will be getting any income from this blog, but I love writing these posts and I use them as resources myself because I can’t remember everything. It makes me happy knowing that my sharing of these posts may be useful to someone.

PLEASE COMMENT below with any other ideas! Do you make stuff to sell?  How do you make a little extra? We would love you to share!

Make it a great day!

Jexi

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My experiences with common health concerns in tiny kids

Shaken baby syndrome: This IS a real thing and it kills babies. Caused by the baby being shaken causing damage to the brain, bleeding, and a lot of times, death. Remember-crying won’t kill your baby but shaking it can.

 

Ear infection: bacterial infection of the ear causing intense pain as the eardrum bulges and inflames from the infection. Usually it goes along with or follows a cold due to the mucous closing off the ear drum preventing proper drainage. Symptoms include scratching/pulling at an ear due to ear pain, may or may not have a fever. Treatment is usually amoxicillin twice a day for 7-10 days. Tavon is 6 and 56 lbs. He gets 11 oz twice/day (22 oz/day). Ali is 2. She is prescribed 6 oz twice/day (or every 12 hours). Kyler is 8 months and gets 5ml 2x/day. You can use tylenol or ibuprofen to help with the pain while the antibiotic is first being given. Pain should decrease in 1-3 days. We put an ice pack on Tavon’s ear when we were waiting for the doctor office to open as well as propped him up. The added pressure on the liquid in the ear when lying increases pain.

 

Pertussis (Whooping cough): A bacterial disease that spreads easily. This starts out with cold like symptoms for a week or two and a slight cough. Cough increases in intensity, esp at night and has a loud gasp for breath between coughing. May throw up when coughing or have difficulty breathing. Serious illness! Treated with antibiotics.  Possibly hospitalization for babies under 1.

 

Hand, Foot, & Mouth Disease: Tavon got this when he just turned 1. I had no idea what he had! Crazy fevers all the time and then these blister things showed up on his feet. I always take my kids in if they have a fever but there was no treatment. It just had to run its course since it’s caused by a virus. If you get this you can still get it again because different viruses cause it so you may be immune to one virus after you get it but get it again from a different virus. Only kids 5yrs and under usually get it. Caleb and I never got it from Tavon. I just gave him tylenol or ibuprofen until he didn’t have fevers anymore. Symptoms last 7-10 days.

 

Yeast Infection: Ember had a yeast infection from the time she was 2 weeks old till she was 2 months old! AWFUL and STUBBORN to get rid of. Yeast is naturally on and in your body but some conditions cause it to overpopulate and grow out of control. The biggest culprit of a yeast outbreak for adults and children is being on antibiotics! Antibiotics kill the bad bacteria as well as your helpful bacteria. Without helpful bacteria, your body gets overrun by yeast. I personally get a yeast infection every time I use antibiotics. Another condition perfect for yeast growth is a baby’s damp bum. Keep your baby bum dry and change diapers often. Yes diapers cost money but if you wait till the diaper is packed full you are encouraging yeast infection. Trust me. Changing more frequently creates more spending on diapers but that is better than money for doctor appointments, medicine and time it takes to get rid of a yeast infection. A diet high in sugary foods and white refined grains is a feast for yeast in your gut. If you want to prevent yeast infection in yourself and your kids, eat veges, fruits, lean proteins and whole grains. I also give everyone a probiotic gummy every day to support their good bacteria. To get rid of Ember’s yeast infection we spent hundreds of dollars on different butt rash ointments, etc. and the one that worked best was Desitin-the maximum zinc oxide one that comes in a PURPLE tube-not the blue one that is cheaper. The desitin just helped keep her bottom dry. The doctors will have you try a cream first called clotrimazole which you can go buy at the store without a prescription. It comes in different strengths from .5 percent to 2 percent. The strongest one is sometimes with shoe inserts and treatments for athletes foot, which is a foot yeast infection. It doesn’t matter if the medicine says cures jock itch or athletes foot. If it is clotrimazole its the same thing and will work for yeast infection. Try putting this on with every diaper change for a day or two before you go to the doctor because that is what they will tell you to do anyways and to come back if that doesn’t work. I usually mix a pea size of clotrimazole cream with a clump of desitin and rub it on really well with each diaper change. If you don’t see improvement in 2 days, time to go to the doctor so you can get a prescription for nystatin ointment. Specify you want the ointment instead of the cream so it is moisture repellant. Use that just like you did the clotimazole cream, or you can rub the nystatin in really well first and put some desitin on top. If a course of that doesn’t totally clear it up, return again to the doctor who might want you to try diflucan so go ahead if they do but the only thing that worked for Ember to totally clear up her nasty yeast infection was two rounds of the oral nystatin. It is not considered a well known treatment for yeast infection but again, it was the only thing that would completely get rid of her newborn yeast infection. Don’t pressure your doctor to go straight for the oral nystatin though because it is hard on their little liver and the other medications will probably work. For adult yeast infections, boric acid suppositories helped take care of my yeast infection along with my BV (see below for more info on that).

 

Thrush: This is a yeast infection that has transferred to your mouth. White clumps in the mouth that may look like cottage cheese. Tavon and I got this when he was 11 months and I thought the white clumps were just chunks of spit up but if I tried wiping them off they bled. His gums bled badly when I brushed his tiny teeth and he would cry so bad. Then when I got it i understood because it hurt to even touch my gums with my finger! Poor baby. Plus I was breastfeeding so he transferred the yeast infection to my nipples which made them itch horribly. I know Tavon was given medicine and I was also given medicine to apply to my nipples to stop the cycle of us passing it back and forth.

 

Bacterial Vaginosis (BV): This is more for moms. After I had Ember I got this really funky smelling vaginal discharge. For me it smelled like ammonia and it was more noticeable after intercourse (sorry for the details, I’m just trying to help you realize that if that happens to you it’s not normal and this is probably what it is). I was given an oral antibiotic to try getting rid of the overload of bacteria taking over down there but after I finished the course, the smell came right back. I was then represcribed the same oral medication along with a vaginal cream that you squeeze into a syringe and put into your cervix like a tampon to squeeze the gel out farther up. Again, it worked but only for as long as the medication lasted. I remember my doctor telling me to look into boric acid suppository which would change my PH to more acidic so that bacteria couldn’t grow as well. I read some articles about it and looked at a bunch of reviews on products through Amazon. I purchased a bottle of 14 boric acid suppositories to try. It’s just a pill you push into your cervix as far as it will go, before bed. It will dissolve through the night. After 3 nights I no longer had BV or my yeast infection (I was also using clotrimazole cream 3x/day). YAAAY

 

Croup: A viral infection that will last 1-2 days and nights. The infection causes the windpipes to swell which interferes with breathing, causes a barking cough, and may give a hoarse voice. Ember was 3 and Kyler 8 months when they were treated in-office for croup by being given steroid crushed up into some liquid ibuprofen. It started out as a cold which added a cough after a few days and the cough made Ember throw up a few times a day it was so intense. They were both gasping loudly for air between coughs. Lasted 2 days, VERY bad at night, only a few hours of sleep so I brought them in because I was worried about whooping cough but after treated for Croup the worst was over for Ember. The doctor said a humidifier would help tremendously with the night coughing because breathing the cool mist calms the swollen windpipes. I brought Kyler back in again because cough was no better. Doc said his lungs sounded like the beginnings of whooping cough or pneumonia, so they prescribed an antibiotic stronger than amoxicillin.

 

Varicella (Chickenpox): The time between exposure to the virus and eruption of symptoms is called the incubation period. For chickenpox, this period is 10 – 20 days. So if you wonder who gave you the chicken pox think back to who you were with 2 weeks ago. The patient often develops fever, headache, swollen glands, and other flu-like symptoms before the typical rash appears.Tavon got chicken pox when he was 7 months old. Poor tiny baby! He still has a scar on his forehead from a big one that he kept scratching at and ripping the scab off. I remember petting his head and seeing a small red dot through his hair on the back of his head. I didn’t think much of it until another one on his head showed up, and another. They just started showing up all over poor little guy! I gave him oatmeal baths to soothe the itching by grinding up the oatmeal myself and dumping into bath water. I also doused each chicken pox with the calamine lotion. I won’t ever forget the smell of that pink stuff. He also went from not being cuddly baby at all to liking cuddles more. Chickenpox is crazy contagious to anyone who has never had it or been vaccinated for it before. Vaccination for chickenpox is usually offered at the 1 yr old checkup. Tavon got it from being snuggled by a 4 yr old girl who had chickenpox but she wasn’t showing symptoms yet so we couldn’t have known.

 

Pinworms: Twenty percent of children in the USA have pinworms at any given time and 1 in 3 don’t know it. First of all, if you have this or ever get this, you get no judgement from me and have my sincere empathy! If you or your children have an itchy anus at night this could be why. Get a flashlight and look for parasites crawling around the butt hole. The best description is strands of cotton only they are moving. Tiny itty bitty worms that come out of the anus at night to lay eggs where there is oxygen. From there the eggs get on your underclothes and transfer to you hands if you touch them or scratch, maybe transfer to the floor if you put your clothes on the floor, transfer to the toilet, transfer to your bed sheets, etc. Eggs cannot be killed by bleach or any type of cleaner. Heat is the best way to cook the sticky eggs around the house, on clothes, etc so wash clothes in hot water and GO TO A DOCTOR FOR A PRESCRIPTION. The eggs can still hatch if swallowed for up to 3 weeks and are invisible to the naked eye so you will need 2 doses of medicine a couple weeks apart. The medicine kills the worms inside you but remember you have also swallowed more eggs and the medicine doesn’t kill those so another dose is needed 2 weeks after the first to kill the worms that the eggs have matured into during that time but before they can reach the large intestine to lay more eggs and start the cycle again. It is doable to get kids to take the medicine. It doesn’t taste good but it isn’t awful so just crush theirs into juice to drink. They say everyone in the household probably has it if one person does so everyone gets treated over 1 yrs old. Wash all bedding and clothing in hot water and steam mop the floors if you can.

 

Circumcision Experience: Tavon was circumcised at the hospital when he was one day old. I chose not to watch as had been recommended by my mother and the doctor. The kind doctor told me that Tavon didn’t even cry. Yeaaaah….right! Dealing with a circumcision AND an umbilical cord can be pretty stressful because when you change the diaper you put ointment on the penis to keep it from rubbing on the diaper and babies want to pull their knees up to their belly, causing the sore penis to touch the hard and sometimes sharp, umbilical cord. The ointment for the penis can get on the umbilical cord, causing it to get goopy when it is supposed to stay as dry as possible. If you choose to circumcise your son, make sure you have ointment, cotton balls or q tips, and gauze on hand before your little one is born. A red penis head after circumcision is expected. With Kyler We got scared from a different symptom though and thought that he was getting an infection on the head of his penis after circumcision because of yellow secretions on the head of his penis that wouldn’t come off with a water rinse but after explaining it to the doctor on the phone, we were told it is a normal sign of healing and that it would subside and go away within a week. The easiest way to keep the foreskin from sticking to the penis head for me was to pull some cotton from a qtip or cotton ball and put it on the base of the penis head every diaper change. Insurances usually don’t pay for circumcision because it is not considered a necessary medical procedure.

 

Umbilical Cords: Once cut after birth these dry up and fall off in 1-2 weeks. I had a freak out the week after Ali was born because of her umbilical cord. It was stuck to her onsie after getting wet from a sweaty nap and when I went to change her diaper I pulled up her onsie, which tugged her umbilical cord and pulled it up slightly, causing it to bleed a few drops. I was worried about her getting an infection so I globbed neosporin on it. I forgot how quickly the umbilical cord could turn soft with any moisture around. I went to change her diaper again to find a goopy smelly umbilical cord that was definitely starting to come off probably prematurely. My mom calmly told me that I should gently wipe off what ointment I could and apply rubbing alcohol to the umbilical cord to get it dried out again. After I applied alcohol with a qtip I called the number to the delivery nurse desk that they had given me upon hospital checkout. They told me the alcohol was the right idea. I just kept putting rubbing alcohol on every once in a while with a square of guaze over the top, held onto her belly with small bandaids or pieces of tape that I had first stuck to my hand and pulled off so they would be too sticky as to hurt her when I pulled them off her belly. When Ember was born she had a herniated belly button which is different than an outie. It’s like her belly button is being pushed up, which goes down to normal after a few weeks. The doctor also clipped the corners of her umbilical cord hardened because it was pretty sharp and kept poking her in the belly. Make sure you have rubbing alcohol and qtips to apply it with before your baby is born.

 

Coming soon:

Reflux:

Pneumonia:

RSV:

UTI:

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Husband works and no family around?

Having my husband work 70 hrs a week and no family within 200 miles is a tough situation  but honestly I don’t know any different. I feel strongly that to grow closer as husband and wife, a couple really needs to break off from both families and rely on each other, growing closer in unity and relying only on each other to build that bond and trust. There comes a point however, when you have that good bond with your spouse and a strength to your relationship that you don’t carry with anyone else. We are at this stage now, and have been there for a while. To me this is the perfect stage to be around family. Help from loving grandparents who love to spend time with their small grandchildren while their mommy goes to a doctor appointment. Help with more than two examples of righteous living. Help with buildings of strong relationships between aunts, uncles, gma, gpa, and especially cousins that can turn into lifelong friends. Help in the form of love felt from extended family.

Having tight knit family help and support is not the case for our little family, and it’s nothing new to me. I have learned to become independent and run my own show at home. If I want to try something or go somewhere, I don’t need someone to come with me, even though it would make it more fun! I have learned to branch out and meet new people, to be more understanding and willing to help others in need. Even simple things like being confident instead of scared in a new town. It has made me a strong person.

With my husband being gone so much he tells me it almost seems wrong that other guys have a 8-5 schedule 5 days a week. He said once he wouldn’t know what to do with himself! I laughed and told him there was a whole list of things I could write for him 😉

In all sincerity though, there is never a time when I sit down and think oh yay, the to do list is all crossed off and I don’t have anything left to do besides eat chocolate and soak up this chick flick! Boy does that sound like heaven!

Tips to help you:

Find a babysitter right away. This is ESSENTIAL for all parents with little kids. Know you have the option to get away and run errands by yourself a couple times a month. Know you can go on a date with your husband. This happens when you find a babysitter or two. I find mine through our church but there are many on craigslist and group facebook pages for your community. I have lived in my current community for 2 years now and have 4 babysitters I can try calling for dates, and a community facebook page I can post if I want to swap childcare with another mom so that I can go volunteer in my sons class or run errand or go to the dentist or SOMETHING haha.

Get a gym membership or join some sort of workout group. This is my favorite thing! I have found a Zumba class that I can’t stand to miss! I love going to dance and exercise without my children under me (literally, when trying to do push ups in my workout at home). It is an out for me, even if I spend an hour getting the kids ready to go because everyone’s shoes seem to be hiding, I feel like it’s worth it! I get to be around other grown ups and I get to exercise for a healthier me.

Find a play date/mommy group. It’s great to get together with other moms at a park or the church and let the kids run around while you get to chat it up! Bring water and snacks so you don’t have to leave early due to whiny kids and make sure their is a bathroom at the park they chose or you can bring a training potty with you (there is no bathroom at the park by us-WEIRD)

Send your extended family pictures about once a week so you can hear their feedback and have regular communication with them. Maybe set up a family facebook page? We have one for both sides of our extended family and they are nice to have.

Prepare a family newsletter every year. I have really enjoyed doing this and I think I sent the last one out mid January which summarized the previous year’s main events and what our children are into at the moment. Keep one for yourself to put in a family scrapbook or journal or something so you can look back someday.

Let your kids “talk” on the phone to family and have pictures on your wall of extended family to help them remember who they are between visits. My baby loves to listen to Grandma’s voice on the phone. Sometimes I can call her when he is crying and he will stop crying to listen.

Keep yourself busy during the day. This means put your phone down, turn the TV off, stand up, and do something beneficial! A body in motion tends to stay in motion and this is a great thing. This doesn’t mean you have to be “getting things done” every second of the day because in fact, you need to slow down with your cuties once in a while and study that rock they found with them or take a few minutes for “cuddle time”. The point is to put important things first and turn on electronics last. This is the only way I have found to really feel productive in the day.

People ask me what I do all day, and parents to the children that I am back-up childcare for, assume I am home all day long with no set plans. Couldn’t be farther from the truth. To anyone curious about what I am responsible for, here is a shortened list that doesn’t include my involvement as a back-up babysitter to 3 families:

I am in charge of ALL finances-creating budgets. updating the category budgets once a week by scanning through our credit card charges. paying bills on time-we get paid twice a month so I go in and pay set bills with each paycheck. Scanning for fraudulent purchases. purchasing reasonably priced, quality gifts for both sides of the extended family as holidays and birthdays approach. Doing the same for our own family. Meal planning and using what we have to save on food budgeting. Making sure we purchase necessities like toilet paper and shoes for the kids, computer paper and ink, this list goes on for eternity so I use my dry erase board when I notice we are getting low on something. price comparisons and reading reviews. going through and filing or trashing all mail. phone calls on financial things. Looking at yard sales for things we need first, then craigslist, then Amazon, then sales at the store.

I am responsible for the kids-taking them to the doctor, remembering their medicines, keeping their nails trimmed, cutting their hair, giving them baths, washing their clothes and bedding, keeping them from jumping out in front of cars, giving them napkins so they don’t wipe their fingers on their shirt, teaching them everything from how to use a fork to why we should be grateful, reading to them every day, loving on them with hugs and kisses, giving them self confidence, signing them up for sports and supporting them by taking them to practice and coming to games, helping them with homework, teaching them the alphabet, limiting their screen time and giving them developmentally increasing activities to do . changing their diapers and wiping their bums, potty training

I am responsible for the food in our home. Making sure we are eating healthy, whole foods. Teaching my children about nutritious foods vs junk foods. Planning meals for 6 people and making them. Purchasing the needed food for the meals or finding a food pantry in the community when are out of real food and don’t get paid for a few days (I can’t wait to be able to volunteer at one of these places someday!)

I am responsible for the upkeep of our home and the garden. I do the laundry, clean the bathtubs and showers, wash the glass doors and mirrors, file the paperwork, vacuum, sweep, mop, wash doorways and doors, sanitize countertops, wipe down table legs and the sticky backs of the chairs, putting the holiday decorations up and taking them down, dusting, taking the trash out, remembering garbage/recycle day, organizing the garage, cleaning out the SUV, keeping the pantry organized, cleaning the fridge microwave and oven, directing my kids as they clean their rooms, refilling soap dispensers, changing the furnace filter, replacing lights that burn out, cleaning couches. plant the garden.weed the garden.

I am responsible for the upkeep of myself. Exercising and eating right, getting enough sleep, showering and doing my hair enough so that I don’t look homeless haha! Reading my scriptures and praying, doing things I enjoy like reading educational articles and singing. Brushing and flossing my teeth, doctor appointments for myself.

I am responsible for being a partner with my husband. Asking about his day and showing him how much I appreciate and love him. Laughing with him. Making sure he has clean clothes for work most of the time. Making him breakfast in the morning. Purchase anything he is needing like new shavers, work clothes, etc. Talking to him about the kids and anything else important.

I am responsible to Heavenly Father for church particiapation through callings, attendance, worthiness. Reading my scriptures, praying, following through with my commitments to my calling, going visiting teaching, offering my assistance when I can to those needing help in my ward, participation in church events to support those who worked hard to plan them, making my home available to the missionaries for dinner. Keeping the commandments. Raising my children to love God.

Like I said, there’s more where that came from as I’m sure people reading this may know, and my amazing husband is able to help me when he is home and can muster the energy-he was a cleaning maniac for Mother’s Day because all I wanted was service through cleaning the house. Best mother’s day ever!) I am very blessed and grateful for my ability to be the one to teach and raise our children!

Jexi Burke

 

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Identifying why you yell

I want to yell when something unexpected and urgent comes up. I used to believe that if my kids went potty before we left, we would avoid the hassle of taking a bathroom break at the store. An uninterrupted shopping trip is what I planned on. This created much anger and frustration for me when kids had to pee at the store. I didn’t expect it and I put the effort in to prevent it! However, after much shopping with my kids, I now EXPECT that my children will need to go potty there. When you expect to be interrupted and distracted, you are sort of mentally prepared and the reaction is more “okay, here we go” instead of “crap! why does this have to happen?! ” which usually ends up in grouchiness and speaking harshly to my children. Now I’m not saying to expect the worst from your children and treat every circumstance like a no biggie, but things like taking the kids to the bathroom at the store, or cleaning up a juice spill during dinner are things children can’t help doing once in a while. They are children so will do childish things. We can’t expect them to be as coordinated or emotionally controlled as an adult. In fact, sometimes to keep my cool I have to think of my children as mentally disabled because they are, if you’re trying to compare them with adults who have fully grown brains. Our cuties won’t have the ability to think logically or control emotion well until they are 8 years old, and even then, they won’t reach full brain maturity until closer to 20 years of age. This knowledge changes me perspective in knowing that my children can learn, but children will still act childishly because they are children and literally not mature mentally. So expect your children to be childish, but that doesn’t mean give up on them. Expect that your potty training child may have an accident and be ready for it, but don’t let up on taking her every hour. Be calmly consistent. They will eventually get it, and overcome things you are worried about, with your help.

I want to yell when power struggles come up. Avoid power struggles when you can. Give kids good warning when a change is coming up to make the transition smoother, and give them choices whenever possible. I give a 2 min warning when we go to the park so my kids have time to process leaving soon. Sometimes I ask how many more minutes they want. Usually it’s reasonable, and I don’t get any argument when I say time’s up! You could also give them a choice- do you want 2 more minutes or 5 more minutes? Let them feel like they have some control. There is always a choice to be found like, “Do you want to stay seated and eat dinner or get down and go to bed hungry?” Or possibly, “You can pick up your toys or if they don’t matter enough to you to take care of then I will come in and put them in the yard sale box.”

I want to yell at my children because I want them to actually listen to me and do what I’m saying so they don’t suffer a consequence. I repeat my request hoping they will listen the 2nd time? Sometimes it’s because I don’t want them to have to have a correction and other times it is out of laziness on my part, not wanting to have to think of one. This is where our time outs come in-our kids time out is not their correction, it’s a place they go so they don’t cause any more trouble while I think of a related consequence. At one point I realized that I was using yelling as a replacement of the consequence for not listening the first time. Calmly correct the first time, like a police officer would. They don’t scream at you as they write you up, you just get your ticket for breaking the speed limit. Enforce but don’t take it personally when they don’t listen, and don’t use yelling as your punishment.

I want to yell when we are going to be late. Tight scheduling and rushing don’t work and lead to a CRAZY SAUCE MOMMY! I got into the habit of rushing to church at the last minute years ago, because when we get their early it means more time for my kids to suffer sitting on the bench while I wrestle with them-am I right? So pretty soon I was leaving as close as possible to getting there exactly on time and then we had more children and it became us being late. The pressure of time causes a natural desire to hurry in me, but my cuties don’t even know how many seconds are in a minute let alone what it means when I say we have to leave in a half hour! I tried to explain the time of one minute and ended up telling them that one minute was about how long it takes to walk up the stairs of the tallest slide at the park and slide to the bottom. I have to give myself an hour slot for us to finish our morning getting-ready-for-the-day routine before we go anywhere. Even that is pushing it, and any less time is almost a guaranteed a yelled sentence here or there. Allow yourself enough time in the day by expecting that everything will take a long time, and if it goes quickly YAY, try to have a backup plan in case you get extra time of things you can do or fun you can have with your kids.

I want to yell in power struggles. Avoid power struggles when you can. This is done by giving choices-not putting them in control by asking something like “would you like to do your chores today?” but instead “I notice you haven’t started your chores yet. Which one would you like to do first?” type thing. My rule is give 2 choices, maybe 3 because more than that always seems pretty overwhelming to my kids and they usually end up choosing something weird that they don’t even like. Whatever you do, if you give them a choice, be willing to accept either option they choose. This was taught to me in college Psychology and I thought it was brilliant! For example, it was my cousin’s birthday and his parents wanted him to try the dinner they made. He wouldn’t even take a bite. So…they gave him a choice that he could either take one bite just to try it and be done, or he wouldn’t get any of his birthday cake. Guess what? He chose no birthday cake. See, I think the parents were trying to come up with an option so awful that he would just take the bite of food and when he chose no birthday cake they decided they wouldn’t have that either because who shouldn’t have birthday cake on their birthday? They altered his choices to be either try a bite or do all the dinner dishes by hand himself (they didn’t have a dishwasher). They were honestly okay about whichever option he chose. It is actually really hard to do, because you have to sit and think in your head how you would feel if they really did choose this or that and make sure the correction fits the problem so that there are no hard feelings on the child’s side of being too harsh, and no hard feelings on your side by feeling like the child got away with something.

I want to yell at a children when he or she seems naughty all day. An idea to avoid this that rings true with all of my children, is spending quality time with them and connecting with them on a daily basis. This magically make them WANT to listen to me more and actually do what I ask without yelling or correction. When your children know you love them enough to take sincere interest in what THEY are saying or what you are doing to play with them, they will be more likely to listen to YOU and help you when you ask. I think the most important part is connecting with each child SOME time during the day, even if it’s just for a minute, really examining that picture she colored and holding her tight while you tell her great work, or saying yes when he asks you to build legos with him, really focusing on him and trying to create something amazing, even for a minute or two. Try to say yes more. I am in the habit of saying no, for some reason 😉 Would it really hurt for them to get a treat at the store to share? Or go to the park even though everyone’s shoes need to be found first? I know it takes a lot of effort and there are always ‘things’ that need to be done but what kinds of things do we want our kids to remember us doing with them as a child?

I get the urge to yell when my youngest is crying and everyone else needs me at that moment too. When my 4th child was born I quickly started using the phrase “please wait your turn, I am helping ___ right now and then I will get right to you. Sometimes it gets so intense that I need to say okay everyone, it’s MOMMY’S turn now, usually because I have to go to the bathroom, get my workout in, or do a step of prepping dinner.

Feeling bitter can be a yelling trigger. It may seem unfair how much your children, or even your spouse, expects of you. When you feel things are unfair, do what makes you happy for you. It is important to take a turn for yourself sometimes. Forget the to-do list for a half hour a day and do something that makes you happy! Tell your children to work it out themselves or don’t be by each other. You don’t have to lose your identity in motherhood. For example, I like to garden. Growing food that will help our budget and our health does wonders for my soul :D! Also reading nutrition stuff is great too, or even just sitting and resting my eyes with NO GUILT while my kids are by me watching a show is pretty nice too. We. Deserve. Something. If you are always giving and never receiving, your tank is running on negative, which is usually=depression or bitterness. Bitterness keeps you from shining. You can’t take care of your family right if you are neglecting your own needs.

Cherish the moments. Lately I have tried to really live in a moment every day and imprint the memory of it in my brain. I get so sick of people saying -it will be over before I know it- or- they grow up so fast- or -enjoy it while I can before they are gone, etc. What are you people talking about. The mothers living in this stage have a hard time cherishing anything when they barely get a chance to go to the bathroom or wipe makeup off from the day before. Our arm feels like it’s gonna fall off from holding a baby or toddler all the time and we only own clothes that are as old as our first born because once you have kids, how ya gonna go try on clothes with a kid trying to escape under the changing door (why can’t they just make the door go all the way to the floor? It baffles me.). The thing is, it may be impossible to cherish everything, but we can take time to cherish something once in a while. Just remembering to cherish things is a challenge that I am trying and you know what? It happens a few times a week and really makes me happier and enjoy motherhood more when I do.

Yelling never created a change of heart in my children to want to do right-just temporary fear to do what I want so mommy isn’t mad anymore. Not the end goal, right? Have you ever yelled at your cuties? What tips do you have for us on yell reduction in the home? I can’t wait to read your suggestions below!