I remember spitefully asking my mother (back then) why my 2 yr old brother didn’t have chores-because it felt like I had chores since birth! The silly thing is that he was on a stepstool by my mother’s side, splashing in the sink while she did the dishes when I asked that question. I realize now that he was doing the first step of “chores” just by watching my mother. Chores aren’t simply “routine household tasks” as the dictionary defines them. Chores are the homework, or practice, of life. I am not forcing physical labor upon my children with chores-I am teaching them how to keep things organized so they aren’t constantly looking for things, how to clean so that their environment is sanitary and prevents sickness(and mice!).  I am going to do my best from the time they are born to teach them to live independently. My 12 month old knows what the word “garbage” means now and will joyfully throw away a few things a day like his banana peels or wrappers after snacks, and diapers after a change. He gets a spoon with meals but is still working on how to use it(or even keep it on his tray!). To me, my 1 yr old learning to feed himself is just as important as my 6 yr old learning to do his own load of laundry from start to finish, because they can’t expect me to feed them and do their laundry their whole lives! Yes there are developmental limits to the tasks we can expect at each age, but the concept stays the same-we are accountable for teaching them to be responsible and do the best they can. Who else is gonna teach them? Example is the biggest key, and it’s the first step noticed in any lesson we teach. Babies always have their eyes on us, watching whatever we do and as soon as they learn to control their movements, they copy us!-even when it makes no sense to them. That’s how they learn! The first step is watch someone do it. Let your kids see you being productive and following an organized routine instead of keeping your face in your phone all day and cleaning when they are in bed at night. Cheerfully tell them that you could really use their help (even though you know the task will take AT LEAST twice as long with their “help”). Kids love to be needed and to feel like heroes!

Steps for teaching a “chore”

Number One-Give them the opportunity to watch YOU perform the task. Number Two-Have them help you perform the task, showing them exactly what to do and how. Number Three- Have THEM perform the task while you are there to help and confirm any questions they have about the task. Number Four-Let them try it out on their own without you right there so they can excitedly tell you they did it on their own and to come check it out! It takes a LOT of work as mommy to teach my children a chore. For example, I had to show my 12 month old where the garbage was and how to put something inside. THEN I could ask him to help me do it, so I take his hand and we go together to the trash can where I place the garbage in his hand and help him drop it in! Then follows a large clapping and cheering ordeal to praise him for his efforts. But ALAS it’s still not over folks-the next time we do it, I am the helper instead of him, “overseeing” his task by encouraging him (yes, that is the garbage can, yes I want you to put it in there) because this is his first attempt by himself. And last of all, the “maintenance” mode where I tell him his task and simply make sure he follows through. Would it be easier to just throw a piece of trash away by myself? Oooooh yeah! But in the long run, by spending the time to teach my child, I am working myself out of SO many chores I would need to do in the future if I always did everything for them.It’s a good idea to check your child’s work but don’t expect it to be perfect! Give them an explosion of praise and thank them for being part of the family. If you expect perfection and constantly correct the task they did their best to complete, you slash their self confidence and eagerness to do the task because who wants to do something they are no good at anyway, right?